First steps to healing

After 4 long years of infertility (that's 48 monthly reminders that I am not pregnant) it is not hard to believe I have fallen into a pit lately. Allowing myself to wallow for a couple of months I have decided that it is time I started fighting like a girl to claw my way out of this sorrow-filled place of endless darkness. 

Here marks my first steps to healing (well maybe not to healing but at least to getting through a day without uncontrolled waterworks).

FIRST STEPS

I have just removed all chronic baby talkers from my newsfeed on Facebook. 

This isn’t because I’m not happy for them. 

I am. 

It is because I need to look after myself. 

I need to stop re-bullying myself 

every day, 

through contestant reminders 

that I do not have my own baby 

to hold 

and take pictures of 

and tell the world about. 

Through contestant reminders 

I don’t have my own baby 

who looks so much like me 

or who laughs just like it’s father. 

I just need to give myself a break 

and this is 

the 

first 

step 

in doing that.