- Running is making me stronger in more ways than one (physically, mentally and emotionally)
- It is contributing to improved mental health for me
- It has forced endo to take a back seat while I get on with my life (I am no longer someone with endo, I am a runner!)
- I am off to hunt for a new scary goal...
Monday, August 17, 2015
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
An unpleasant mixture of hopes and fears.
Another hour survived.
Suppressed and secretive joy at lasting an entire day.
Persistent and noxious weed like thoughts of "what if"
Attempting to pervade,
A day spent inexhaustibly spraying
The persistent creepers.
Clear recollections of the last time this path was travelled,
A dark pit of lost dreams lies ahead.
Although one more hour has just passed..
2 week wait- part 2
The day's armour falls to the floor,
Removing with it
that has provided refuge
through a day of
The steaming hot water
of the possibility
leave a crumpled mess
upon the shower floor.
No more waiting
No more feeling.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Give me the strength to have enough control to save important decisions for a better day,
And to make the right decisions on days like today.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Essentially, the Empowerment Dynamic is about changing our focus from that of the victim to that of the creator in order to make more of our lives and to reach our full potential. I found myself wearing many different hats throughout this book as I related the empowerment dynamic to my work life, my home life and my medical condition- endometriosis (and the associated infertility).
Short summary of some of the roles in TED* (It will never do the book justice but I will try…)
Victim- The role of the victim is characterised by someone who feels powerless and has experienced some loss, thwarted desire or aspiration or the death of a dream. (Eg. Feeling powerless against a bully at work, the suffering due to infertility caused by endometriosis, having endo in the first place etc)
Persecutor- The persecutor serves as the cause of the Victim’s perceived powerlessness, reinforcing the ‘poor me’ identity. (Doing an award winning job of playing this role is the Endo and infertility)
In the book Emerald outlines how we can shift our focus from that of the Victim to that of the Creator. Creator- This is the antidote to the powerless victim. A Creator greatly increases their ability to choose a response to life circumstances rather than merely reacting to them.
Challenger- Serves as an antidote to the Persecutor who provokes a reaction from a Victim, a Challenger is a catalyst for change, learning and growth for a Creator.
So, how does it work? We need to stop focussing on the problems in our lives (the endo for example) and start focusing on what we want in and of our lives. If you could have or do or be anything your heart desired right now, what would that look like? Remember to think big! (Remember also that you need to think about what you DO want not what you DON’T want. Saying- “I want to focus on not being sick” is a negative and just won’t cut it).
The next step is to think of some short achievable goals you can focus on that will help you move towards achieving your new vision. Once you have done that then you need to start taking action- get creating!
Note: The book goes in to much more detail than I have here and actually explains all the roles with great examples and even tells you how you can go about doing all the things required in each role.
My learnings from this book.
I need to look at my Endo as a challenge. It has challenged me to get creative and rethink some things. Every challenge has an opportunity for learning though and I need to take time to reflect on all the things I have learnt through having Endo. As a start I know I am a much stronger person than I thought I was and I have learnt how to look after my body and have developed a much healthier lifestyle as a result of having it. For that I am thankful. I need to really think long and hard about what I want in my life and what I can do to achieve this. I have already started down this path and am enjoying the opportunities that being a creator rather than a Victim have afforded me. Ultimately I realise I need to stop focusing on Endo as my life. It is not my life, it is not even a huge part of my life but it has wheedled its way in to being a central part of it at the moment and is absorbing all of my energy. I need to refocus and ensure that endo only gets the tiny bot of attention it should have in my life.
My advice for others.
Read this book, think big and stop sleepwalking through life in the role of the Victim. Take charge and be a creator!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Just don’t think about it
You are right.
I should ignore
The megaphones connected to my ovaries
The loud speaker connected to my vagina
The amplifier connected to my uterus
The heightened sensors in my breasts.
I think I might just go ahead
And turn them all off.
Could you please
Show me where?
It CAN happen
A lady at work
Has a daughter
Who got pregnant
After her 1st round of IVF.
Well my friend’s sister
Who is a size 12 in tops
And 10 in bottoms
And has blonde hair
With brown eyes
And was born on a Saturday
Has a dog
And she named it Tom.
Does it get my point across?